A mom asked me this back when I was tutoring in college; she was in complete disbelief that her unmotivated son was willingly getting his work during our sessions.
As a mama now, I understand her surprise on a whole ‘nother level.
Sometimes our kids just don’t want to do things and it’s hard for everyone.
Our homeschool atmosphere is tainted over another daily fight about math, our kids start to resent us for forcing us to do things they don’t want to do, and we are at our wits end trying to make sure they are learning the basics.
Dealing with demotivation is hard, but gratefully there are things you can do to combat it.
Today, I am going to share four insights to help you reduce the motivation struggles in your home and move forward with more joy.
Insight #1: There is actual science to motivation and you can help increase your child’s motivation by making small, intentional changes. In the research world, the strategy is called The Motivation Formula and it works. I use it all the time in my home and have taught it to the mamas in The Village. Check out the training in The Resource Center.
Insight #2:Not every problem is a motivation problem. This is really important because when we misdiagnose issues in our homeschool, we can become frustrated when the changes we make aren’t working. The lack of motivation in your home could be because your kids aren’t in their Goldilocks Zone.The Goldilocks Zone is that place when our kids aren’t working on things that are too easy or too hard for them- the work is just right. I’ve shared howhomeschool benchmark testing helps us to know exactly where are kids are and what they are ready to work on.So if you are having issues with motivation, that could be a good place to start.
Insight #3: Motivation is impacted by your mama mindset. You ever had a situation where no matter what you did or said, it was taken the wrong way? Yeah…We can fall into that trap with motivation. If we have a kid who constantly struggles to get their work done, we can start to view them as “that kid” or “the unmotivated one.” With this lens, it is hard to call out their greatness, apply the strategies we are learning, and admire the unique ways in which their motivation shows up.Torrie from the Olgesby’s Ohana has some lovely words of wisdom on how to offer a grace-filled heart to our less motivated learner and thisvideo will help you consider if you should be addressing motivation or something else. Your mindset and heart attitude makes a world of a difference in your child’s journey.
Insight #4: Don’t rely on motivation, set rhythms. Remember the last time you tried to start something new? For me, it was getting back into waking early two years postpartum. The first few days it was hard, I had to motivate myself to do it. But once, I got into the rhythm of it, it became natural-no longer a battle. Rhythms are the long term strategy we can set in place to combat demotivation. Rhythms make what we are doing so natural (like brushing our teeth or washing our face) that we don’t have to motivate ourselves to do it. Consider how you can set rhythms in place in your homeschool.
Finally, know that motivation isn’t constant so enjoy the ride.
I want to wrap up with this important mindset piece because sometimes we have unrealistic expectations. No one is motivated all day, every day. Not you, not me, not our babies.Motivation ebbs and flows and there will be days that are harder than the others. Celebrate this! It means we’re human and we can simply appreciate that we have limits and need rest. Mitigate the harder days using the tips above and eat ice cream when it’s just one of those days.
Okay, mama, remember that you are not alone in this journey.
You have other homeschooling parents cheering you on, The Village in your back pocket sharing years of education research,